Honestly

I hope you hate me.
I hope the thought of me pisses you off.
I hope the sound of my name ruins your day.
I hope every record of our conversation is gone,
And the only time you remember me is to say I was your biggest mistake.
I pray every night for your loathing,
Because maybe that would make what I did to you a little more okay.
Maybe that would ease the pain I feel every time I realize how hurt you must be.
Maybe I could look myself in the eye again.

I’ll always hate myself for what I did to you.
I just wish you would, too.